


55 Words

by Tofudonut



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-03-26 17:49:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3859336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tofudonut/pseuds/Tofudonut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Each chapter is 55 words. The prompt/AU I used will be in the notes of every chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nofur - "I’ve been sent to seduce you."

**Author's Note:**

> I have been feeling very uninspired lately, so I decided to try this to get my brain pumping. I may come back and actually write out a full story for some of these. If I do I will put a link to it in the notes at the end, But Idk? :/  
> As always, Tell me what you think! ^^

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nofur - Imagine an AU where your OTP has never met. One day, Person B comes home to find Person A lying on their bed in some kind of lingerie/dominatrix outfit/etc. (or just completely naked). When asked by Person B who they are, Person A simply responds “I’ve been sent to seduce you.” What happens from there?

Bofur had had another bad day at work and wanted nothing more than to sleep for the next 48 hours. He opened his bedroom door and froze. “Bout time you got home.” The red headed dwarf strutted up to him, throwing his arms around the miner’s neck and whispered, “I’ve been sent to seduce you.”


	2. Dwori - Air Mattress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwori - Imagine your OTP having to share an air mattress for the night. Person A is already in bed and comfortable, and person B, very tired from the day, flops down on the other side, thus launching A into the air.

Dwalin throw himself onto the mattress forgetting it was full of air. Ori flew through the air, landing flat on his face. Dwalin jumped off the temporary bed and over to Ori who had sat up. “You okay, love?” Ori turned toward him with tears in his eyes and blood running down his shirt, laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a _slightly_ longer version of this called [Air Mattress](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4075654)


	3. Bagginshield - Spanish Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I saw a prompt about a Spanish class doing this "speed dating" thing where the students were paired up to flirt with each other in Spanish and just couldn't resist! (This is one of my favorite!)

‘Why?’ Thorin thought, ‘Why does the world hate me?' Out of all the kids in Spanish class Thorin was forced to flirt with Bilbo Baggins. “Tu cabello es hermoso!” Bilbo purred. Thorin coughed, “G-Gracias,” Thorin wasn’t very good at flirting or spanish, “Tus ojos son grandes y azul...” Bilbo exploded into a fit of giggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tu cabello es hermoso! = Your hair is beautiful!  
> Tus ojos son grandes y azul... = your eyes are big and blue...


	4. Thorin & Bilbo - "FIGHT ME!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “FIGHT ME!”  
> “Sir, you are literally five feet tall and I am six foot two and two hundred pounds, you will not win this fight.”  
> “FIGHT ME ANYWAYS!”

“FIGHT ME!” Bilbo yelled, getting into a fighting stance. “Sir, you are literally five feet tall and I am six foot two and two hundred pounds, you will not win this fight.” Thorin reasoned. “FIGHT ME ANYWAYS!” Bilbo insisted, landing a right hook into Thorin’s side. And that’s why Bilbo woke up in a dumpster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BLARG! I really don't like this one... -_-lll


	5. Thorin & Bilbo - Chocolate Milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We both reach for the last chocolate milk gallon I will fight you au

‘Chocolate milk?’ the last thing on Thorin’s grocery list. ‘Last one!’ Just as he grabs it another hand comes out of nowhere and grabs onto it too.

“Let go!” 

“It’s mine!”

They tumble to the floor just for the small man to yell for help and have Thorin escorted off the premises, without his groceries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ The Dangers of Grocery Shopping](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4352420)


	6. Nofur - Kiss me my ex is here!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiss me, my asshole cheating ex is walking this way au

Nori saw him the moment he entered the room. The nerve of that asshole! Coming to his house party! At his house! And he was coming this way! “No time to explain just go with it!” And then they were kissing. Bofur moaned loudly just as Nori’s ex passed them, but that didn’t stop them.


	7. Nofur - Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no more room in the car and the roadtrip is four hours, I hope you don’t mind sitting in my lap au

Bofur didn’t think it would be to bad. Maybe Nori’s legs fell asleep and they’d have to switch spots, but here he was sitting on a very aroused Nori trying desperately not to give into the rocking of the car and feel the other’s clothed cock rub against his ass. Only three hours to go.


	8. Dwori - Desperate College Student

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am a poor college student who may or may not be willing to suck your dick for a passing grade au

“Please, sir!” Ori pleaded, “I can’t fail! I’ll do anything!”

“There’s nothin’ you can do. Sorry,” Mr. Dwalin Fundin shrugged.

“What if I...” she thought for a moment, “give you a handjob?”

Mr. Fundin sputtered and blushed, “No, I don’t think-”

“Blowjob?”

“Like I said I don’t-”

“T-Tittyfuck?” Ori blushed, squeezing her boobs together.

“NO!”


	9. Nofur - You Have A Nice Butt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s finals week and I haven’t slept more than 45 minutes in the past three days, did you know you have a very cute butt au

Bofur had gotten little to no sleep in the last week, what with finals and the new renovation going on at work. He had just enough time between school and work to get from one to the other.  
Nori stretched in front of him, “Did you know you have a cute butt?”  
“Go to sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Extended version ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4828622)


	10. Dwori - Fragrant Shampoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Person B showering at Person A’s house, quickly learning that they are a fan of frilly, fancy, fragrance items. Person B then spends the whole day at work smelling like a field of sweet strawberry marshmallow flowers to their coworkers.

Dwalin spent the night at Ori’s house and used her shampoo this morning. He didn’t expect it to be so distracting, but now all he smelled was her. Not to mention Thorin kept teasing him and everyone was whispering about his sudden shift in scent. From aftershave and men’s cologne to sweet strawberry marshmallow flowers.


	11. Dwori - My teacher the porn star!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you’re my english prof and, incidentally, my fav porn star au

Dwalin never thought his wild past would come back to haunt him, but there Ori, his top student, was looking up at him with lust.  
“I can’t believe you did porn.”  
“It was a mistake from my youth.”  
“You’re my favorite, you know?”  
“Please, Stop.”  
“I want your big, thick, c-”  
**“I will fail you!”**


	12. Kili/Ori - "Did you really have to pee in the salad?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did you really have to pee in the salad?"  
> (This popped into my head and then my hands started moving and this just kinda happened...Don't judge me!)

There was a fine line between playing a prank on someone and being a total asshole. Kili had just crossed that line in bounds. Now Dori would never approve of him. Or even let him over for Christmas or BBQs or at all! Ori sighed, “Kili, Did you really have to pee in the salad?”


	13. Dis & son - "There was nothing you could have done."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili or Kili is dead and Dis comforts the one that isn't :(

“Come here, Baby.” Dis said arms wrapped around her son. She held him close and gently stroked his hair. “There was nothing you could have done.” she whispered and the other began to sob loudly into his mother’s tunic as he clung desperately to her. Tears poured from Dis’ eyes as they shared their sorrows.


	14. Dwori - Leather Pillows?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My sister gave me the prompts 'Leather' and 'Pillow'

“What are these?” Ori held up the abomination.

“A pillow?” Dwalin answered sipping his coffee.

“Yes, but what is it made of?”

“Leather.”

“Leather?”

“Yeah?”

“Why the hell do you own LEATHER PILLOWS?”

“I like them,” Dwalin shrugged, “Why? What’s wrong with them?”

“There LEATHER!” Dwalin gave a confused look, “You have crap taste, love.”


	15. Nwalin - "There is so much wrong with you."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There is so much wrong with you."

“There is so much wrong with you.” Dwalin deadpanned as he tugged Nori out of the market. 

“You know it, baby!” Nori agreed, giving Dwalin a quick kiss on the lips, before rushing back into the throng of people.

“Nori,” Dwalin shouted after the thief. The star-haired dwarf cackled as he disappeared down an alleyway.


	16. Bagginshield - Pillow Fort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think the pillow fort is perfect."

"I think the pillow fort is perfect." Bilbo smiled, looking over the pile of pillows and blankets.

“Why, exactly, is a ‘Pillow Fort’ necessary?” Thorin asked with air quotes.

“You always need a pillow fort to Disney movie marathon,” Bilbo waved a finger in Thorin’s face.

Thorin groaned, getting down to crawl into the fort.


	17. Fili/Ori - Stuck in a closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine your OTP gets trapped in a very close-quarters place, causing them to be pressed fairly close together, and Person A says, “I swear this is the beginning to every smutty fan-fiction ever.”

“In here!” Fili pulling Ori into the small closet at the end of the hall.

Their bodies pressed together as they squeeze into the tiny room.

“I swear this is the beginning to every smutty fan-fiction ever.” Fili whispered with a smirk.

Ori wiggled slightly, “Fili, I think we’re really stuck...”

“No we aren- fuck!”


	18. Bagginshield - F*ck Ikea!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a quote from my sister's boyfriend lol XD
> 
> “Fuck Ikea! I ain’t going to any Fucking Ikea!” -Adam

“I need to get some new furniture,” Bilbo said, walking into the livingroom of Thorin’s apartment, “Will you help me pick them out?”

Thorin turned away from his paperwork, “Okay, where are we going?”

“Ikea?”

“Fuck Ikea! I ain’t going to any Fucking Ikea!”

“What’s wrong with Ikea?”

“We’re not going to Ikea!”

“Why-?”

“NO!”


	19. Bilbo/Dwalin - "P-Please don't... I can't anymore..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "P-Please don't... I can't anymore..."  
> (It was an angsty prompt, but I made it more fuffy ^o^)

“P-Please don’t... I can’t anymore...” Dwalin whimpered as he rubbed his stuffed belly.

“But I just made strawberry tarts?” Bilbo whined. 

Bilbo had been baking all day and once his house was full of baked goods he had called his boyfriend over and forced him to eat the rest.

Dwalin groaned, pulling the plate closer.


	20. Nofur - "Where do you even find so many kittens?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Where do you even find so many kittens?"

“I'm keeping them,” Nori stated before Bofur could open his mouth, “I named them already!”

“But-?”

“You can’t get rid of something once you name it!”

“Yeah, Okay, but,” Bofur nodded as he looked around the room, "Where do you even find so many kittens?"

“More importantly,” Nori said seriously, “We’re keeping ALL of them.”


	21. Bagginshield - Sex Shop 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Running into each other at a sex shop.

Thorin blushed as he stepped into the small shop. The walls were covered in every type of sextoy you could imagine and some you couldn’t. He turned to walk down the aisle full of dildos when he bumped into something. He looked down to find a bright red man on the ground, surrounded by sextoys.


	22. Bagginshield - Sex Shop 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Running into each other at a sex shop.

Thorin blushed stepping into the sexshop.

‘In and out!’ he thought. 

Quickly he went to the far back and grabbed the first dildo he saw. 

He turned and hit a short man right in the jaw.

“I’m so sorry!”

The man looked up with wide eyes, “Thorin?”

“Bilbo?”

‘FUCK!’ they thought in unison.


	23. Ori & Fili & Kili - lemonade drinking contest gone wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine Person C lets your OTP compete in a lemonade-drinking-contest, but afterwards locked the door to the bathroom and left, taking the key with them

Ori’d had quite enough of the two princes. Deciding to have a little fun of his own, convinced the brothers to have a lemonade drinking contest. The boys were so competitive it only took one question to start it all. Too bad they didn’t see Ori lock the bathroom door and leave with the key.


	24. Nori & Bofur - Drunken Crying Over Broken Chair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Person A gets drunk and Cries over breaking a chair while person B comforts them but still really happy the ugly chair is gone.
> 
> (I made this prompt from real life events...Thank you, Adam!)

“Nooooo!” Nori screeched, causing Bofur to sprint into the room only to find Nori drunkenly sprawled out on floor clutching a detached chair leg, “Not my chair!”

“It’s okay,”

“No, it’s not,” Nori cried tears coming to his eyes, “Why? Why?”

Bofur shushed him patting his hair soothingly while inwardly cheering the ugly chair’s death.


End file.
